The funny things Emily has said

Emilyisms

Emily has given us some great words and has a unique way of saying things. We've made this page especially to share these Emilyisms and to embarrass her when she is older.

Our all time favourite Emilyism is Noserude - as in "Rudolph the noserude reindeer". We use this word a lot now, usually to describe neds, children, eejits, dafties and common people.

Another frequently heard word chez Barker is Monkeymad - "my hair is a bit monkeymad today". We really like this word and hope it will catch on.

Emily often uses adjectives as verbs. Its is quite addictive.
Soft/Softing - "Will you soft my face?"/"I'm just softing Lucy"
"I am exciting of the tunnel"
"I'm scary" - as in "I'm scary of the monster"
"I'm going to stamp on the ants and dead them"
"I'm happy of the sunshine"
"I'm cross of the broken thing"

Like most kids, she likes to pretend to be a hairdresser, shop assistant, police officer etc. The following exchange took place while she was pretending to go to the Doctor's:
Doctor (Mum): "Yes, what seems to be the problem?"
Patient (Emily): "A tiger ate me"

She is also a very convincing shop assistant:
(Said angrily) "And what else, and what else and what else!!!"

Sometimes, things in our house get broken, eaten, lost but of course the culprit couldn't possibly be our little Emily - could it? When we ask her what happened, the answer is usually one of the following:
"A witch did it."
"There was a bee"
"It was Maisie"

When asked what she was doing standing on the bathroom scales, Emily replied "I'm just seeing what time it is on my feet".

She has a great sense of irony: "You like being called "Nigel" best don't you Nige?" and is always great at dishing out compliments - "You're the best daddy in the whole wide kitchen."

We love Emily's storytelling abilities and her lively imagination, however, almost all her stories involved a witch and a forest. When asked to tell us a story that didn't invove a witch and a forest she responded thus: "There was a forest and there wasn't a witch."

"I want to help the sand" was one of the more obscure things she said. She kept screaming this when we were trying to prise her away from a sandpit in Vigeland Sculpture Park.

For ages, Emily couldn't pronounce "crisps" which was unfortunate as they are her favourite food. On a packed train becoming increasingly impatient for the trolley man to appear she started shouting for "chims". We promised her she could have chims and when the trolley did appear, half the carriage were craning their necks to see what on earth chims were.

She has a good understanding of other faiths and when our old cat Shelley died, Emily decided that Shelly had gone to live with Radha and Krishna. She also thinks nothing of skipping to nursery singing "Govinda Jai".

Emily has a charming way of describing things and people. When she first started nursery school she was best friends with someone known only as "happy face smiley girl".

Although she acts like a grown up sometimes we are often reminded of just how young she is like when she saw two big dogs and whispered to her uncle Simon "I think they are lions".

She described having pins & needles by saying "I've got badges in my feet".

Playing with two of her dolls she explained "They're twins. One's called Chloe and the other one's called Monkeymad Poo. Some people call her Monkeymad Poo, but I just call her Monkeymad."

She gets mixed up between bagpipes and kilts: While on the bus she pointed at a man just about to enter a public loo and said "look at that man wearing bagpipes". Rather than correct her (and risk an hour of huffiness) Jan diplomatically suggested he might be going to a wedding as men often wear KILTS to weddings. She shook her head and said in a very loud voice "No mummy, he's going for a WEE".

Whenever we come home, we are always met at the path by our cat Maisie. On one occasion, Maisie was meowing particularly loudly and Jan commented that Maisie was probably saying something like "Where have you been? I'm really hungry" or whatever. We said it would be funny if the cat really could speak and asked Emily what she thought Maisie would say if she could talk. Here is Emily's brilliant response:

"WOWEE! I can speak!"

You couldn't make it up.

---ooOoo---

Emily would like us to point out that this stuff took place a long, long time ago when she was wee. She is much more sensible now. Notwithstanding...recent Emilyisms include:

At 10.00 p.m. Emily was still awake, transfixed by Harry Potter. She was on the last page when she asked Nigel about a word she didn't know. The word? "Hermione"!